2 weeks ago, I got an email letting me know I was unsuccessful in a proposal I submitted to a wonderful company. I was gutted. In the time we had worked together I had seen this business grow rapidly and it wasn’t done yet. Working through spotlighting with the SLT was a joy and what a company to work for.
After spending an evening licking my wounds and RSD kicking my arse, I realised this was one of the final threads to the business I had built over the last 8 years.
The last year has been transformational, enlightening and has given me permission to stop, reassess and refocus. As ever, art has been a constant companion.
Art, my constant companion
What I get from art and creativity has always been there. From Saturday art clubs with my auntie in my childhood, skiving high school to going and sitting in Southport Art Centre, choosing creativity above academia when I went to college and my career in graphics and teaching up to 2018!
It played an instrumental part in my healing from alcoholism, the death of my mum whilst in treatment 20 years ago and later through burnout and poor mental health after my dad died.
Art is, and has been. a constant friend, unquestioning, non-judgemental, always available and thankfully accessible. A place where I can be the true me, in solitude, no masks.
So as I realised this final chord had been broken, it was time to choose.
1. To carry on struggling to fit in an industry I no longer felt I fit. Where the demands from ICF and EMCC seemed impossible, and business networks didn’t see the person behind the business or…
2. Or choose happiness and joy by going back to creativity, teaching (in a fashion), creative workshops and creative coaching for all ages where sitting face to face in a room no longer served either myself, or the people I worked with?
I am not ready to give up on the thousands invested in getting me to this point, but I am ready to stop fighting for it.
I am ready to give myself grace and know that the boxes that I have tried to fit into, were never shaped for me or my brain.
I’ve realised that I was battling and reprimanding myself for not yet being ‘one of the women’ or toeing the line. I have also realised through working with Nadia Myerson, that speaking my truth has always resulted in people leaving.
The truth is.
I find life simpler that way. My mind works so hard to figure out what I ‘should’ do that I cheat myself out of who I can be. As me.
My strengths are thinking outside the box, thinking creatively and bringing people together. Not just any people, the right people who connect, who know without explanation and who appreciate that I am flawed, open, direct and can be incredibly vulnerable. This is what makes what I do possible and what makes me so good at bringing people ‘home’ (Thank you Gemma Easdon)
So I choose option 2.
Creativity
There is so much power in combining my whole 26 years of teaching and coaching to make a difference to people of all ages. By focusing on joy and creativity, the conversations are easier, they don’t skirt around the surface, we go deep. Why? Because I know what it is like. I’ve been there.
I don’t share my vulnerabilities for dramatic effect, or for pity. I have never shared my personal story of alcoholism for personal gain. I share it for the women who may be 30 years old sat at home drinking herself to death, feeling misunderstood whilst keep up a facade. That person who feels incredible lonely and who feels that they are the only one.
I share my story of burnout and breakdown to strip away the shame attached to ‘not having it all together’. Today I share this story because even though, I have created many things as part of my business over the years, and helped hundreds of people in business, nothing has felt more like me that what I am choosing right now. Becky J Field Creative – is me.
Moving forward, I am building a ‘home’ for people who may feel the same to join me in Creative Minds Collective.
The Creative Minds Collective is a series of:
- Creative Minds Art/creativity Sessions for Adults (Fully inclusive) 121 and Groups
- Creative Minds Co-working & Networking (business owners) in Chadderton at studios 1853 and Marple (Stockport eventually)
- Creative Minds Kids Club (Starts September)
- Creative Minds Kids Coaching (Sand and Art) – in person (group and 121)
- Creative Minds Teens in person (group and 121)
For those of you who have stayed. Despite speaking my truth. I thank you. Sincerely. I encourage you to keep following my posts to find out more and I hope to welcome you into my world if you are not already with me.
For those who wish to leave, I thank you for being with me so far!
My profiles will look a little different from now on. But my updated website will be housing everything! www.beckyjfield.co.uk
If you want to find out
a) how to become part of this movement, please book a call and let’s chat.
If you are looking to support the building of this ‘home’, I have a Crowdfunder campaign that I would appreciate sharing, donating or supporting in any way you can. This link tells you more!
This brave decision comes obviously at a cost, to travel the distance again to build my network, to market, to have support with Beverley-Ann Futia to register my CIC and be part of the incredible work of Sector 3 Stockport at some point very soon, will create the next exciting step with a beautiful direction towards supporting people of all ages through creativity, nature and trauma-informed inclusive, and accessible, sessions.
For now…. I am a portable Creative Coach who is ready to start afresh.
When life gives you lemons, Swap them for limes!!
Here are some of the wonderful things I have been up to to make you smile:
